it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
