It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
