I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
