all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize