It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
