Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
