susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
i now understand why vodka
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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