i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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