My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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