He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
