So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize