the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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