I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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