Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize