they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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