look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
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