just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
That reminds me...we need to get swords
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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