I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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