Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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