just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
