Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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