some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize