I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
