Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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