My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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