so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
