I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
