Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
