I think I am morally bankrupt
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
that may or may not have been my penis.
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