Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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