I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
