the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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