I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
