I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
its not stalking. its research.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
