normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
