I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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