shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize