there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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