Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
