wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize