The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
