Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize