Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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