Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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