Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We were destined to go to rehab together
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
