I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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