Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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