Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
