so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
