I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
