Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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