She's JV to your varsity
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
