I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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