At least make sure they are 18
Why
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Randomize
