So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
