I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
