ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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