Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
