Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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