True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She's the barista slut.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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