im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
