Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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