I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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