I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
