its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
