there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
