I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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