If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
