In America we eat man semen.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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