ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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