i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
