i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize