The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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