when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
