the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
